Angela`s

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Cramps

Hi world

I haven’t been feeling well these last two days. I have just worked half days and spent the rest of the evening on the couch with bad cramps. With that always comes the depression and desire to cry and eat chocolate. This time was terrible and I refuse to accept that it is natural and that I am just supposed to get on with it. Child birth is natural to but shit why does it have to hurt that much. It really sucks being a girl sometimes! I hardly ever wish to be a boy but these last two days I would love to trade places.

Tomorrow I am leaving for Brazil with Jason. I long for the beach and the sun!!!!!!! I am really looking forward to seeing Leticia now that she is a bit bigger.

I want to apologize to everybody that I have spoken to these couple of days as I have been completely detached. I just want to disappear and come back when I am better. It even hurts to laugh. I am sorry!



“Oi Marcia

Esses ultimos dias foraum horrivles, me senti mal I so trabalhe metade dos dias. Estpero que pase rapido e quero vim ao sol e praia, e ver a Leticia agora que ela esta majorsinha.”

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Soap bar n stuff

Eric and Calle




Me and Angelica





Jen and Lasse





Angelica and Jen





Angelica posing





Me and my drink






Hi world
So my big weekend is almost over. The question is how was it? Well let me see. The dance workshop was great fun and Angelica enjoyed it a lot to so she is going to start dancing next month. My dance class was a success, it makes me so happy when the students say they love my classes because I find so hard to teach dance that I really make an effort to be a good dance teacher that inspires and makes dancing fun.

Dinner at Mamas was good fun as usual. We told some funny stories that can’t appear in the blog. After Mamas we went to Lemon Bar, but I swear it was a gay night or something because 3 girls started talking to me in the line for the toilets and when we were drinking our wine I saw some girls kissing then some boys. Jen said some girl was staring at her and she got real nervous. We drank quickly to go to our favourite soap bar. We danced and laughed and drank of course. It was great! Jen met a nice guy, I hope, he seemed nice anyway. Everybody at soap are so sweet to me. I am going to miss a good party when I go to Brazil. I even had an interesting discussion with Hank about VIP cards, they can be really hard to get and even harder to keep, and are they anything to want? Anyway I don’t think we were on the same page on that discussion.

I found an old diary today, it seems I wanted a fairytale or at least I wanted somebody to save me. It may sound childish but I am so tired of having to do everything alone, all the time. I wish somebody would just tell me to shut up and take over for once. I wonder who I would let do that?

It has taken me a long time to get rid of the bad people I have had in my life. By bad I mean people that are evil, self-centred, egotistical and just don’t ever give anything back. The kind of people that hurt others. Yesterday I got strong reminder of how evil people can be, even to the ones they say they love. How hard can it be to treat the ones you love as you would like them to treat you? I hope I never let people like that into my life again.


“Oi Marcia

O samba foi um successo, y sabado foi bon apezar de algumas coisas que me fez pensar en peosas que maltratao a otros por nada. Demoro muinto tempo para me mi livrar de pesoas ruir da minha vida e eu espero nunca mais dechar gente ruin entar.”

Friday, October 27, 2006

SIN CITY


Hi

I just saw Sin City, and I loved it. Ok I know I am a bit late and that everybody has already seen but I just bought my DVD and I hardly ever go to the movies. Back to Sin City it was soooooo my kind of movie, men were men and women were women. My favourite actor Benicio Del Toro is in it along with some top names. The women in the movie are soooooo good looking I even wished I was gay. But sorry by the age of 28 I am be pretty sure that I am not gay, so the hot girls made me want to rearrange parts of me eat less and be thankful that I am going to dance 5 hours tomorrow and that I am off to Brazil where I will get a wicked tan! I would never get cast for Sin City, but I do my best.

I got all my shopping done as planned today and I believe me and Gunnar did some good deals. After work I cleaned the apartment, did the dishes, washed clothes, went to the supermarket, tanned got home again and cooked dinner for me and Jenny. I felt like a house wife doing it all in 2 hours. I hope I make a good wife. Jenny hasn’t complained anyway. = )

Check this out, made me happy all day:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sx873kgI4hc



"Oi Marcia

Eu vi o filme Sin City e adorei. No trabalho fizemos ums bons negocios hoje e fiz as minas compras no almoco. Depois do trabalho cuidei de todo em casa para depois ve o filme."

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Can this week just end?

Hi world

This has been one of my toughest weeks ever. Everything I did at work went wrong. I made such horrible mistakes all week and I don’t know why. I didn’t feel out of focus or anything, but I must have been.

It has now been a week since I started my new diet that my doctor put me on and I must say I feel so much better. I am not hungry all the time and I am not nauseous or in pain any more. The downside however is that I am gaining weight and that I don’t like. I feel so tired all the time and don’t want to workout at all. I think it is because it is dark, cold and rainy out. That makes me want to lie on the couch all evening watching movies and drinking tea.

Happily the weekend starts tomorrow. I have some great plans. Friday lunch we are going to sneak out of work for a while and do some shopping for my trip to Brazil. In the evening I am staying at home and relaxing. On Saturday Viva Brasil has a workshop from 13-18. We are going to teach a lot of different dances; even I am giving a class in “tchan” later in the evening we have dinner reservations at Mamas. I am so looking forward to a great weekend. As I said I am back!

Here are some adorable photos of Tamar’s little Leon, makes me want one of my own.








"Oi Marcia

Essa semana foi horrivel, eu so quero que acabi. Eu errei todo no trabalho. Mas o fim de semana esta perto. Este fim de semana o Viva Brasil vai ter um workshop y eu vou dar uma aula "tchan" Sabado vamos ao um restaurante y para um bar depois. Vai ser divertido. Uma semana depois do doctor eu esto muinto melhor mas o mau e que esto aumentando de peso. Com esse frio y chuva me fas ficar en casa en vez de treinar."

Monday, October 23, 2006

Doc has spoken

Hi world

I got a comment today. Thank you for that Richard, I would like people to comment my blog. When I don’t know what to write maybe a comment can inspire me. I am really looking forward to when Richard returns, we are going out, Cecy has to come. I remember one time when we went out the three of us with Richards’s cousin. Crazy night!

On Friday I swallowed the camera at the doctors. It was horrible, by far the worst thing that ever has been done to me. I think it can be used as a form of extreme torture. The doctor’s conclusions are that I can’t drink any milk and preferably no dairy products at all. I eat too little fat and that I must increase my fat intake. I must cut done on sugar and salt and eat more fat and drink more water. He believes my nausea is caused by my intolerance to dairy products and hunger as I don’t eat enough fat. Why doesn’t my body understand that it can feel free to use the extra fat I have around my waist. Well you can’t have it all. I hope my new strange diet doesn’t make end up like Keiko and get rolled back out to sea.

I talked to Jason this morning, he is crazy. I laughed so hard that everybody at work probably thought I was crazy. We talked about our upcoming trip to Brazil and that we are going to have to share a room so he is lying off the ceviche.




"oi Marcia

ficei feliz com o comentario, me da inspiracao cuando nao tenho ideas.
Eu fiz os examis e o doctor falo que eu nao poso comer mas leite. tenho que comer mas gordura, menos sal, menos azicar e mas agua. fale com o Jason hoje ele e doido. ele nao vai comer ceviche esa viagem."

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Am I back?

Hi world

I have now done my hair! So I am me again. Rouky is six months pregnant and looking great. She is a wonderful person and I believe she is going to be a great mother. We spent most of the time yesterday talking babies, names, do´s and don’ts

After I braided my hair I hurried off to my dance class about an hour late. We had regular class and then after we trained shows. My has made a beautiful choreography for a new show.

On my way home I called Jen and Sophie. They came over later just to sit and talk and drink some wine. Sophie brought her little sister Cissi. We chatted away for a couple of hours before jumping into a taxi heading straight for Soap Bar. I haven’t been out for a while. I stopped going out for two reasons, one I am trying to save money to pay off my debts, for the interest rates and for my future adoption. The other reason is that for a while there I felt very lonely every time I went out. I don’t really know why but to feel lonely in a room full of happy people can be tough. All my friends have been wondering what was wrong with me and seriously I don’t know why it just wasn’t fun anymore.

Soap bar yesterday was a blast of the past. When we got there it was crazy, it looked like there were more people outside than in the bar. But as we are well known there we went straight in. I love that part ; ) I had such a great time all the guys we used to talk to were there and they all said that they had missed me. I got loads of sweet, not tacky compliments. It is nice to get some attention once in a while. We got our cheap drinks in the bar and danced all night long. At the end of the night I stayed fighting with the guys about football and stuff. They act tuff but are probably sweethearts. They all started saying that I disappeared with some guy blabblabla. Not true! Well I have missed all that, the fun, the dancing and the people. Maybe I am back in the game. We will see how it develops.

My DVD came on Friday but without the scart, how mad was I? So now I am going to jump in the shower and go out and buy one.


"Oi Marcia

Eu fis o meu cabello ontem, depois eu fui para o ensaio de samba. De noite umas amigas vierao para minha casa para conversar e tomar um vino. Depois fomos para um bar. Eu encontrei muinta gente que eu nao tinha visto a muinto tempo. Me diverti muinto. Agora vou tomar banho e salir."

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Hormonal idiot! But I am happy now!

Hi world

Ok I suck! I did not go to sats today. I really didn’t want to and when I was on my way I realized that I had forgotten my lock so I went home instead. Ok that might be a lame excuse but I was not about to buy another one when I didn’t even want to go in the first place.

I have been so aggressive today, I was a real bitch. I was in such a bad mood on the way home so I called Richard, he always makes me laugh. But his phone was not on. Damn him. So I went home pissed off and put on GNR and cleaned the whole apartment and did some laundry. At least I did part of what I promised.

I did my nails as well. Tomorrow I am going to samba classes then I am going to get tanned then I am going to do all that stuff girls do to look pretty. Paint lashes, wax, and eyebrows and so on. Nothing is ever as it seems, thank god. On Saturday I am going to do my hair.

It really sounds like I am looking forward to a party weekend but seriously I don’t have any plans.

By the way I was so pissed off when i got home so I bought a DVD player online so I can stay in and watch movies. It is really cold here now and they are expecting snow.

Kindest today: Gunnar who gave me a present for no reason!
Most unreachable: Richard
Most losted, confused and pissed off: ME, i just did everything wrong today!!!! Airhead!!!!!

But I am happy now!

Favourite alcoholic drink: caipiroska

Favourite colour: black

Plans for the future: adopt a baby, buy a bigger apartment

3 things you need on a deserted island: Hawaiian tropic, food and a cell phone

Which cartoon would you be: Jessica Rabbit, hot and mysterious

Vegetarian or Vegan: None I love meat

How many have you kissed: Not my quote I hope.

How many peircings: one on my bellybutton

3 things you wish you had: Drivers licences, cash and bigger apartment

What makes you happy: my friends, good food and new experiences

What makes you sad: the situation in Africa, the evil that can be found in people and when I am helpless.

What do you do when you are sad: call a friend.

What is the first thing you buy when you get cash: a round of tequila, hair and body products

Favourite pasta: tagleatelli frutto di mare

How did you last break the law: didn’t pay my buss fair

Why: because I knew I would get away with it

What do you look forward to: my trip to Brazil

Favourite sandwich: Jamon Serrano

Favourite fast food: Prick thai

Most mischievous behaviour: stabbed my new furniture set with a pen when I was little

Best hang out: Fridays, Stureplan or my place

What movie made you cry: Titanic, that was mass hysteria, don’t know why today as the movie sucks

What is beauty: an attractive appearance combined with charm, warmth and life. Nature.

Favourite tea: Suntea tropical fruit

Favourite ice cream: Dinos in Spain

What is happiness: inner and outer security, being part of something bigger than oneself. Be able to love and let yourself be loved.

If you got one million: adopt a baby, bigger apartment and lipo

When did you cry: 2 weeks ago

When did you laugh: this evening on the phone when I dialled the wrong number.

What are you afraid of: getting attacked on my way home from a club

Who are you afraid of: I don’t know.

Beautiful man: Tyson Beckford

Beautiful woman: J-Lo

Who do you pity: a person I knew that is far from well, intimidated and scared of life.

Who pity’s you: maybe the same person I pity

Who doesn’t like you: a woman at my office

Why you are a good person: I am caring, warm, loving, reliable, smart and strong

Who did you last have a serious conversation with: Virginia

Word you use but shouldn’t: fuckles, thanks to Jason

Do you swear: a hell of a lot I am working on it

Biggest mistake ever: trusting the wrong people and expecting them to be there for me.

Boyfriend: no

Do you want to get married: yes, if it feels right

How early do you get up: 8 o’clock

Who knows you the best: Mum, Camila and Virginia

Fighter: yes always but not physical

Last time you got wasted: my birthday party

Hours of sleep a night: 8-9

Favourite tv program: One tree hill

Apples or bananas: bananas

Last snog: never kiss and tell

Funny movie: Me myself and Irene

Have you flirted online: not with people I don’t know

3 best qualities: happy, honest and reliable

Best children’s program: Mary Poppins

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Giggly

Hi

I ditched my dance class today in exchange for dinner with Mila. We had some catching up to do. Sometimes I feel that nothing has happened but when we start talking it never stops. She is in planning mode for her move to Örebro. Being Mila she wants to buy everything new for her new house. She loves interior decorating and is very good at it.

I had a giggly day today. I laughed at everything. Me and the girls made up such crazy theories about men that we couldn’t stop laughing about it. We have some theories that guys in Sweden are so unlike other guys because of the flour pills they are given as children or maybe it’s the water. I am old fashion, especially when it comes to relationships between men and woman. I believe that in Sweden the men are more like woman and the woman more like men. Needless to say that gives us a hard time.

I am going to a party on Thursday, but I don’t know if I should go as I am gonna swallow a camera on Friday morning at 0830. Try doing that with a hangover. Shit that might really ruin my party to think about the exams all evening.

I am feeling a bit guilty about not working out lately. So starting tomorrow I am back on schedule. Boringly little food and way too much exercise. I would just like to snuggle in the couch and watch movies, but my little Brazilian bikini is not that forgiving. So burn Angela, burn!

This is my plan for tomorrow: work, dance class at Sats, eat dinner, clean the apartment and do sit ups. Now that it is on paper I will have to do it.

Most courageous: Sophie
Most grown up: Mila
, live in boyfriend, house soon a dog and several children
Read me best today: Nille, I giggled through the whole conversation, he is gonna give me some stuff from his house. He always thinks of me!

Monday, October 16, 2006

Action speaks louder than words

Hi world

Just read an old e-mail that sent me back in time and gave me an uneasy bad feeling. All of a sudden I was sad, unheard and lonely. I did not like where I was or what I was doing at that time. I didn’t recognise or even like myself. I am not going to delete it so that it reminds me never to be like that again.

It is so strange how memories can be so strong that I feel the feelings all over again. Whatever they may be, happy or sad, scared or courageous. It might just be a smell or a song and it all comes back to me.
I have a little bottle of soap from a hotel, it is about 16 years old but the smell always reminded me of my dad. Or the songs that remind me of my first crush and first heartache, (sad song on repeat) hahaha. I still have a sticker that my first mini prom date gave me, I was 5. He was tall and dark and always in detention.

Virgi came over for dinner tonight; it was really nice to just talk to her. We can really talk without ever getting too wrapped in anything to heavy. I really enjoy the time I spend with her. Although I don’t see her all that much she is by far one of the few people whose opinion I truly value. She told me that she is doing really well now and it shows. I am happy to see that.

I bought tickets to Shakira today for Angelica, Sophie, Lucia, Cecy and me of course.
It has been a good day, but I am really tired, me and Jen said that we can’t have such relaxing weekends because we grow softer!

Sweetheart of the day: Virginia
Most Courageous: Jenny

Words of wisdom: Action speaks louder than words!

Ok I know you are all laughing that I would write that as much as I talk but it is true so goodnight.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Dentist and a massage

Hi

So Sunday has now passed. Jen and I had lunch at a pretty crappy Chinese restaurant in town, we chose it as it was across the road from my dentist. I haven’t been for about 2 years or so. So it was long over due. After several x-rays the dentist said and I quote “you are in perfect oral health” good for me as dentists cost a fortune in this country.

After the dentist me and Jen had an appointment at the day spa for massages. My whole ADD condition makes me very unsuitable for so called relaxing treatments like massages. I was so tense and alert wondering what the masseuse was going to do next and if it would hurt. I am a chicken when it comes to massages I always think it hurts. I left there with nausea and a headache. Luckily Jen enjoyed it more than I did. It was a new experience.

The day ended with Ice Age and me taking out my extensions, shit it took 4 hours. I am so tired now. Bye bye

Saturday, October 14, 2006

A cosy day

Hi world

My Friday night was yet again a quiet one. Jen and I stayed at my place and watched a high school movie. It was about as serious as we could handle. It was some movie with Jamie Lee Curtis, Lindsay Lohan and not to forget my favourite hottie Lucas from One tree hill. We stayed up talking until around one when Jen went home. No subject was left ignored. As soon as she had left I slept like a baby until around ten.

Today was so cosy! It was a day full of family, kids and animals. For some it was probably the best birth control ever. Cecy, her little brother Alfred, Jen and I had breakfast at my place, scrambled eggs on toast with orange juice and cappuccino. After that we took the buss into town to meet up with Ana Lucia and Sebastian. We had to buy some hair at Taj Mahal. Can´t get by without extensions = ) that took a long time. I must say that everything takes a long time with kids around. After that we went and bought some products for Ana Lucia before going back to my place where we had left the car. On the way home we realized we were soooo hungry, so were the kids. So we did Mac Donalds, blaaaaaaaaaa, I hate it, but they loved it of course.


The road trip begins, rock on Jen and Sebastian




Finally we were all in the car after everybody had gone to the toilet one last time and off to mums house. Sebastian talked the whole way out there he is by far worse than I am. Mum was really happy to have us over. We had tea and toast and played with the dogs until we all were sooooo tired that the kids were falling asleep. It was a real nice family day today. Now I am just going to watch some TV and go to sleep.


Jen quickly found her favourite puppy.



Alfred started of a bit scared of the dogs but this is how it all ended. He was very gentle and sweet all day.




Donald Duck will always be a success. Family moment!




I found some of mums old belts from the eighties and the little dudes had a fashion show for us.


This is Ninnie




Cecy also found one




and me to


Friday, October 13, 2006

BEAUTY IS NOT BEING NOTICED IT IS BEING REMEMBERED

-Emporio Armani

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Who is grabbing me?


Hi world



It is starting to get really cold now; I have to buy a DVD, now that I don’t go out clubbing all that much it would be nice to watch movies. We get free movies at Preem. I had Nille´s DVD but he took it back when he got married.


On Saturday I am going to mums to visit her and all the puppies, they are so cute. Me, Cecy, Alfred (her little brother) and maybe Jen as well are going. On Sunday me and Jen are going to DaySpa for massages in the afternoon. Other than that I have no plans, yet = ) hope to get some though!

For those of you who haven’t read Cecys blog you have to go in and read about her close encounter with Henke Larsson.


I was surfing on www.barbrasil.se as I usually do. But this time I found that Johan had put up some photos from the world cup. Look what I found. First of all who is that and why does it look like he has got his hands on my boobs????? Great I get my face put on the internet and it looks like some dude is grabbing me. I can assure you all, that he did not grab my boobs. Now that that is cleared up! Goodnight all!




Take it easy!

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

WHAT A WEEK!

Me pouting on the bus to Råsunda


Hi world

Where to start? I haven’t written for a whole week. Not good!

The last thing I wrote was that I was going to start eating more to see if I would loose some weight. I have eaten a lot more but I skipped dance class on Saturday and Tuesday. How smart am I?

What have I been up to? Well Saturday was an unexpected hit! A group of us from Preem were invited to dinner and to watch Sweden Spain play a qualifier in Råsunda. On Friday we were all extremely negative towards the whole thing as we found out that it would take the whole day.

Me, Jen Sophie and Angelica met up at Rydbergs restaurant before the seminar for lunch. We had a blast, me and Angelica talked about our upbringing in the suburbs as Jen and Sophie just stared. They are from the countryside, big difference! We have to do lunches like that more often

We had to attend the seminar in the afternoon around two thirty and the game started at eight! The seminar was held by a Swede that had some gold medals in ice skating. He practically slaughtered the Swedish mentality and lack of winners’ instinct, although the seminar was supposed to be to motivate and inspire to achieve goals. Strange, I fell asleep in the middle of it all! Jenny was the only one who seemed to enjoy it????????

At the dinner there were some former footballers talking about Zlatan and then Steven Simmons performed.

We are trying to pose at the football stadium but Jen jumped out of the picture



At Råsunda we were seated next to Cecys tack shop. So we picked her up and she followed us to Fridays after the game. We met up with Camila and Andreas and had some drinks until around one thirty when we all went home!

Cecy working hard despite all the drunks, ourselves included



On Tuesday I saw Brazil play live at Råsunda, Ronaldinho live for the third time (been to Nou Camp twice) It was unbelievable! Lucia was with us and it was her first football game ever so she was really excited. Not bad to see Brazil as your first game. I went with Lucia, Jen, Mila, Andreas and Micke. We were all in awe. The game was pretty aggressive with a lot of fights and at least six supporters that got in on the field to hug Ronaldinho. It was like watching the gladiators as the security body slammed the supporters. One girl got in and really got pounded! Must have hurt! The security was a disgrace. But I had fun and lost my voice.

Lucia is worried



Me, Camila and Lucia



Ronaldinho in action



After the game we went to Berns for drinks! All in all I have had a great week.

Tired football supporters at Berns



Richard called from Dublin, I really miss him, he is crazy. I think he is the only one that really follows my blog so I have told him he has to comment it so I can reply. I hope he moves back to Stockholm soon but I don’t think he will. When he comes over for Xmas we are gonna hang out a lot, me, Richard and Cecy. He wants her to photograph him. Whats up with that??? Wanna be a model hu? Cecy is gonna shoot me when I get back from Brazil tanned and all.

Today Gunnar made me realize that I have achieved a lot of my dreams this year. I have been to the Grand Prix in Monaco, I went to the world cup semis, I saw Barcelona play in Nou Camp and I watched the Brazilian team live.

I would like to write a whole lot more but some things are not to be desclosed to the world. = )

Goodnight

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Hope it works

Hi world

I have made a great attempt to make peace with my dance teacher. I can’t stand hating to go to my dance classes because of him and as we perform together as a group as well it has to work somehow. So what did I do? Me, Gilmar and Stella went out to eat after class on Tuesday. Surprisingly I think he wants peace as well so the dinner went well. We talked like two normal people without telling each other to fuck off! Dance class today went really well we were all laughing and having fun hope it stays that way. Me and Gilmar´s bad moods were effecting the whole class as I am the one that translates.

I am trying something new. As you know I workout a lot a minimum of 6 hours a week and sometimes more and i eat properly every 3-4 hours small portions. I eat rice, beans, meat, veggies and so on. The mystery is I seem to gain weight instead of lose wait. Then you may say it is increased muscle mass, and it could be but not to this extent as I only do cardio??????????

So what am I to do? I have decided to eat more. I love to eat so if this works I am gonna be a happy camper. I will let you know.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Tuesday blues

Hi world

Thank you Ana Maria for being the best private banker ever. Hope you feel better soon so we can hang out.
This morning Mum called and said she wanted to invite me to the football game on Tuesday, and yes I got tickets. After trying to get a hold of Jason and Pontus I got pissed of and just booked 6 tickets for myself. Now I have one left, but I am waiting to see if Ana Lucia wants it. Whatever it is gonna be great to see the Brazilian team play.

I got my blood tests back from the doctors, everything was perfect. So we are on to the next steps.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Thanks, you know who you are

On Saturday I had mum, Ana Lucia and Lucia over for dinner. We were celebrating Ana Lucia’s birthday. Mum had cooked for us all and the food was great. We talked and talked and as usual when we are together we laughed so much. We really need to get together more often. I had pulled out some clothes I don’t use anymore. That initiated a feeding frenzy and mum has already spotted some handbags she wants.






After the dinner I met up with Jason and some of his friends at a karaoke bar. Me and Jase sang and reminded me that we are like Monica and Ross together. Poor Jase gets to be Ross I am only the neurotic Monica, not the idiot. We continued on to Soap bar. Sophie, Camila and Andreas were there to, we had a great time.

Sunday really sucked! I had cramps all day and just crawled into the kitchen for food and pills!

My mission is to get tickets to next Tuesdays football game. Brazil is playing in Stockholm!?!?!?!?!?!?!!! I have to get tickets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have been feeling pretty sad lately. Sometimes it can be real hard to accept who I am and the things that I can’t change no matter how hard I’ve tried. I also know that nobody else can fix it either. Makes me feel pretty helpless. At my best I am real happy about all the good things I have in my life and at my worst I feel like I am the only one standing still, kind of like being left behind. I feel stuck in a bad place. It is lonely there.

Í am grateful to everybody in my life Thanks to the guys that make me laugh without even noticing how sad I am. Thanks to the girls that drag me out, the ones who let me cry on there shoulder and the true optimists that say it will be alright in every occasion.

I luv all of you!